The wedding speeches are a traditional and much-anticipated part of any wedding reception. First comes the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man, then… it all starts to get a little hazy.
The thing is, there are a number of wedding speeches that need to be made on the big day. Guests can get bored and restless if they last too long. But if they’re not long enough, the speech-makers might feel like they haven’t done the bride or groom justice. So, how to strike the right balance while still captivating the guests?
Don’t worry, we’ve got the answers! Check out our comprehensive guide on how long each wedding speech should last, as well as some handy guidance on what each speech should include.
A wedding speech is a speech made by members of the wedding party during the wedding reception. There’s a traditional order of speeches that most people usually follow. However, it’s your big day, so you can absolutely shake it up if you want.
Traditionally, wedding speeches are made after the main course but before the dessert during the wedding breakfast. This way, your guests will have been amply fed and watered and can take a short break before enjoying some sweet goodies. But you can of course have them after dessert if you’d prefer.
Though you can make the speeches before food is served, this isn’t generally recommended. Your guests may be hungry after sitting through the ceremony!
Generally, wedding speeches should last between 5 and 7 minutes to make sure there’s plenty of time for everyone to make a speech. The ‘wedding speech’ portion of the reception as a a whole should last no more than 40 minutes (to prevent people from getting bored). However, it usually lasts between 20 and 30 minutes.
You can shuffle around wedding speech lengths to ensure everyone has a fair chance to say their piece. For example, if you only intend to have two or three speeches, you can afford for these speeches to be a little longer. However, if you want to have many wedding party members making a speech, you should consider cutting down the length to make sure the speeches don’t run over.
Pro tip: To keep things fair, divide the total time you’re hoping to spend on speeches by the number of people you’ve asked to make speeches. For example, if you’re hoping to spend 30 minutes on speeches, and there are five speeches to make, this would bring each speech up to a maximum of 5.5 minutes with a 30-second break in between.
If you’re in a rush, check out the below quick reference guide to see how long your wedding speech should ideally be. Otherwise, read on for the full breakdown, and be sure to save this infographic for future use.
The father of the bride’s speech is traditionally the longest speech in the order of speeches. It’s usually the first speech made during the wedding reception and is a beloved and much-anticipated part of the bride’s big day.
The father of the bride’s speech should last between 7 and 9 minutes (and ideally no more than 12, to prevent the order of speeches from becoming too lengthy.) These speeches generally include:
The groom’s speech can be a little longer than the best man’s speech. It should last between 6 and 8 minutes, but no longer than 10 for the guests’ sake.
It’s usually second in the order of speeches and should be positioned as a thank-you note to all the people who have supported your relationship and wedding planning. As a basic structure, we recommend the following general structure:
The ideal length for a best man speech is around 5 minutes. However, it can be a little longer or a little shorter, depending on your personal preferences and the overall speech order.
The best man’s speech is usually the third in the order of speeches. It should include things such as:
Although untraditional, the maid of honour speech can be a beautiful part of the wedding reception. It should be on the shorter side, like the best man’s speech, and last between 4 and 6 minutes.
The beauty of a maid of honour speech is that there are no expectations, so it can take any structure you’d like! However, it’s a good idea to include:
As with the maid of honour speech, a bridesmaid’s speech is untraditional, so there are no expectations on how long the speech should be or what it should include. We recommend keeping the speech to around 5 minutes long (less if you’d like multiple bridesmaids to make a speech).
Having a bridesmaid’s speech after the maid of honour speech may be nice way to keep things flowing. We suggest that you consider the following structure:
The mother of the groom speech is another untraditional wedding speech, but it’s a wonderful opportunity for a mother to express her love, support, and well-wishes for her son and his new partner. This speech should last between 3 and 5 minutes and, if you’re otherwise sticking to tradition, it will most likely be one of the last speeches made at the reception (though this isn’t a hard and fast rule).
A mother of the groom speech has no set structure. But we recommend including:
Speeches are an important and traditional part of the wedding reception. They’re the perfect opportunity for the wedding party and other loved ones to share their thoughts and feelings with the newlyweds.
As we’ve explored above, when it comes to speech length, the key is to stick to to between 5 and 7 minutes to ensure everyone has a fair chance to say their thank-yous and give their advice. This will also keep this part of the wedding fresh and interesting for your guests and help hold their attention.
We’ve got plenty of great tips, tricks, and wedding speech structures to help you get started if you’re unsure about what to include. And, to see how long your wedding speech should be in practice, check out our wedding speech examples.